SimplePhrase Blog

I've created a new sign for general use. You can get to it from the new Signage page on SimplePhrase.

Home ownership is like a nightmare.

You live in this thing, and in doing so you damage it. You are a parasite in your castle. Everything you do, and have to do, decreases the value of the property.

In this way, a house is like a physical organism. Every aspect of the physical structure requires constant care and attention — flooring, walls, baseboards, plumbing, fixtures, doors, outside walls, roof, gutters, lawn, landscaping — all of it sucks away your money and time until you are like a bloodless fish lying on hot cement, gasping desperately for the oxygen that is all around you but that you cannot absorb. Then your house falls down on top of you, killing you utterly.

You walk around your house, and everywhere — everywhere you look, you see things that could be improved if you only had the money to do so. The front porch, with its chipped, disintegrating cement, the back steps with the cracked step, the gap under the back door, the crumbling brick work at the base of the garage, the dying tree in the back yard, the paint peeling off of the soffits, the ominously bulging brick work in the outside basement stairway, the basement floor that leaks and floods in the heaviest of rains, the basement door that leaks when it rains at all, the outlets in the living room that don't work because they are tied to a set of switches that doesn't work, the various light fixtures that don't work because there is bad wiring somewhere, the counter-top in the kitchen that is starting to curl up from the wall, the kitchen flooring that seems to develop new holes every month, the Vitrolite glass tile that has cracks and damage in various places but that can't be repaired because it is no longer manufactured, the full-size ceiling fans that were inexplicably installed in the upstairs with its 7.5 foot ceilings so that you interfere with the blades when you take your shirt off, the bathroom with its towel racks and soap dishes that have broken off, leaving ugly rust-holes in the tile (Vitrolite here as well), the shower head that can't be replaced because the threads have been stripped off so that a new shower-head will not grip, the outside flowerbeds populated by inherited plants that need completely stripped and replaced with plants that have a modicum of compatibility, the paint peeling off the wall in the basement, the spot where the front door leaked and damaged the basement ceiling, and whatever fucking else is wrong that I'm not remembering.

These flaws and imperfections whisper to you as you move through the house, and what they whisper is, "You don't have enough money to live here." The house disintegrates around you, shrinking the value of your investment on a daily basis while your mortgage payment guarantees we won't have the extra money to do anything to stop the inexorable slide into a 5-digit listing price. The only thing you can do to find peace under this roof is to close you eyes, plug your ears, and sing, "La la la…" So that's what I've been doing.

Fuck home-ownership. Fuck it in its stupid ass.

The SimplePhrase B.L.O.G. (aka Big List Of Games) has been updated with three new games: Cthulhu Dice, Song of Blades and Heroes, and Call of Cthulhu.

I just finished a mix in record time. (That's as in a mix tape, or collection of songs intended to be listened to in a specific sequence.) I've got this somewhat new thing going on with my mixes this summer. In the past, my mixes were meticulously crafted, each song painstakingly tested for smooth song-to-song transition based on key signature, tempo, and instrumentation. With the past couple of mixes I've done, however, I've taken a more stream-of-consciousness approach: As a song plays, I'll wait for the next song to suggest itself based on the vibe of the current song. Then I'll put that song next in the mix, and assuming it's a passable transition, I move on to the next song. In this case, "passable transition" means anything that doesn't make me vomit or cause my ears to bleed. Because let's face it: Perfect transitions are exciting and all, but even with a mediocre transition, there's only about a second or two of adjustment and then you're into the next song.

The upshot of all this is that you get a more organic feel to the mix, and therefore a looser listening experience. I'm liking it.

Link.

Creamy, with a rich and complex flavor. The origin story at the link above makes it cooler. I would definitely eat this again.

Lo and behold! The Australians know how to make damn good cheddar. Aged three years, this cheese was oh so sharp and extremely tasty. If you like cheddar, that is, and I so do. That said, this would not be my first choice for a knock-your-socks-off gourmet cheese experience. I've been spoiled by the likes of Prairie Breeze, Marieke Gouda, and the BellaVitanos.

Wikipedia.

I watched Zombieland last night. I liked it a lot. There are probably more things I could say, including helpful information that would help you determine whether it was something you wanted to watch, but I just don't have it in me to write a full review today, even a review by my own low standards.

Suffice to say it was a feel-good zombie movie. If that doesn't tell you what you need to know, check the Wikipedia entry.

Q: What's stupider than making the back of a cell phone out of glass?
A: Nothing.

Q: What's stupider than, having bought one of these cell phones, not putting it in some kind of protective case?
A: Also nothing.

I have no sympathy for any of the blog posts I've been seeing that say "Oh noes! I dropped my iPhone 4G!" You knew it was glass, and you didn't have it in a case?

I think I'll go around with a hammer and smash every uncased iPhone 4G I see. They'll stare at me as I brush the flakes of glass off of my sleeve, and I'll say, "What? You didn't have a case on it; you knew this could happen."

Sometimes, I'll experience a thing and enjoy it at the time. Then, later, I'll come to the conclusion that whatever it was is crap. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace is an example. Twilight is another. I enjoyed both of these things when I was first exposed to them. When I subsequently concluded that they were both garbage, I became, if not ashamed, then certainly chagrined at my initially favorable impression. But that's stupid. There's little enough pleasure in the world without invalidating past enjoyment based on how I think I "should" have felt.

So, yes, I enjoyed the hell out of Twilight when I read it. I ranked Phantom Menace above Jedi on my way out of the theatre from watching it the first time.

Let's be clear: They both suck. But that doesn't mean they didn't make me a little bit happy for a brief period. There's real value in remembering the happy, regardless of its source.

Wikipedia link.

I found this cheese interesting but ultimately unappetizing.